Do I have Swag?
I bought a pair of red Air Jordans for $185.
I’m supposed to have swag now.
But I don’t feel any different.
So the next day I buy a red Cleveland Cavaliers hat to match.
I’m not sure what sport they play. I think baseball. Right?
They’re called baseball caps after all.
Yet despite my matching swag, women still ignore me.
Maybe swag is more than clothing…
Swag. I got both my ears and right eyebrow pierced.
Was it a left or right piercing that meant you were gay?
Well, now that my eyebrow’s infected I better have swag.
Speaking of which, maybe what I really need is better swag?
I bought a shiny Gucci watch to blind any haters.
Maybe it works too well because no one looks my way…
Perhaps the problem lies with me?
Now I walk with a lean and drop the “g” at the end of words like “wiling”.
My swag is wilin’.
But it’s not wilin’ enough.
Maybe swag is how you see the world?
I bought a pair of shades by Ray-Ban. Now I’m almost broke.
So I try to wear them often,
Even at night. And as a result…
While crossing the street, I got hit by a bus.
Now I’m rockin’ a casket.
Fresh to death.
Do I have swag now?